How to Have a Successful Relationship

October 11th, 2023

No one ever prepares you for the difficulties that come with a relationship. It’s exhausting. I mean, who is ever actually ready for a relationship or is even good at maintaining one? No matter how old and wise you get, there is always something for you to learn and improve within your romantic relationships. Whether you’ve been single your entire life or have experienced being with another person, there are a few components to consider before devoting your time and effort to your desired partner.

Independence & Maturity

You need to gain independence before getting into a relationship. It’s easy to lose yourself and become co-dependent when all you do is spend your time with someone else. Don’t build your life around your partner because it’s not a healthy or happy lifestyle. Maturity is also extremely vital because there will be moments in your relationship when seriousness is needed. Maturity is a trait that can be hard to accomplish, so make sure you and your lover are capable of that. No one wants a partner who doesn’t take their relationship seriously.

Self-love

It’s easy to love another person, but not so much yourself. Self-doubt and insecurity are normal, but when that start to take a major toll on your relationship it can be damaging. It’s surprisingly really easy to sabotage yourself when you’re in an unstable position. You should also learn to prioritize yourself before getting into a romantic relationship because you have to be able to choose yourself over the person you love if the time comes.

Alone Time

Along the same lines of being independent, you need your personal space from your loved one. If all you do is spend every moment with them, it can often start to feel claustrophobic in a way. Even if you can never get sick of that person, being able to enjoy alone time as well as quality time with your partner is essential and healthy.

Extracurriculars

Establishing a work or school life outside of your relationship is okay. Having hobbies and doing them without your partner is okay. You don’t have to do everything together. For those of us who are in college or are post-college, focusing on your occupation and/or the things that play a big role in your future should be just as important as your partner.

Know Yourself

Before entering a new relationship, you need to know your likes and dislikes. Your green and red flags. Your automatic yeses and immediate nos. Questions like: What are your values? What is your religion? What is your stance on political issues? What do you want in the near or far future? What are your long-term goals? Know yourself, and then consider if the person you’re seeing fits your values.

Communication

When conflict arises, you need to be able to express yourself assertively and vice versa. Don’t just brush certain behaviors under the rug or look the other way when your partner does something you dislike. As scary as it may seem, you have to say something. If you don’t, it will only make things worse. If you’re not good with communication, that’s okay, but you have to hold yourself accountable. Realize you’re avoiding confrontation and practice gradually with baby steps.

Understanding

Many people say “communication is key” when really, understanding goes hand-in-hand with that. Just because you tell someone your problems doesn’t mean they fully understand why you’re upset. Communication doesn’t automatically solve your problem. Perspective is key.

Friendship!

To me, this is one of the things I cherish most about my relationship with my partner. Friendship between lovers is one of the most valuable and crucial aspects of a relationship. To have a best friend and a lover combined sets up your bond and intimate relationship for success. Without friendship, it feels like there is a distance between you and your partner and you cannot improve that until you do more.

These are nine components of a successful relationship. Of course, there are way more factors to maintaining a good and healthy connection with your loved one. Always remember that a relationship takes two people. It will take time and effort to better your habits and romantic lifestyle.

From one girl to another,

Jasmine :)