the way you look is the most uninteresting thing about you.

I’ve spent countless hours staring into mirrors and wishing I could change the various features I detested. I hated the way my nose looked from the side, or how my teeth looked when I’d smile; it got to a point where I wasn’t even comfortable leaving my house without mascara or when these insecurities became too visceral.

I recently discovered how harmful this was for a number of reasons: mostly for how generally futile the perspective was.

It’s constantly reiterated to us that we shouldn’t worry about our physical appearance, but it’s extremely difficult to truly adopt this outlook. Many girls struggle with this and having access to social media platforms that glamorize certain features, people’s beauty, and “perfection” doesn’t help a generation plagued by self-hatred. 

But I think I have a way of viewing this dilemma that will help people put what really matters into focus: and it’s most definitely not your appearance. 

The truth is, the way people look is really the most uninteresting thing about them. 

Physicality and our appearance may be what people first notice when they meet us, but beneath our skin resides an entire world of experiences, stories, perspectives, passion, and intellect – and that is what people are drawn toward. 

There are so many reasons why this is true – not only from a scientifically-backed standpoint but from a purely experience-based standpoint too.

Have you ever seen somebody who didn’t necessarily strike you as conventionally “attractive”, but once you got to know them you suddenly found your prior consensus changed? 

This happens all the time.

We meet somebody new, and at first, they’re a blank slate in our minds’ eyes. We don’t know about their lives, what they enjoy or the type of person they are; but slowly, as we begin to uncover these various aspects of their personality, we grow to find them physically attractive too. This blank “canvas” transforms, and begins to explode with color; you find out their favorite sports, their hobbies, their pet’s names, and most importantly: the type of person they are.

This same theory works in reverse, too. If you see somebody you find “attractive” but their personality doesn’t match the way you originally perceived them physically, you can often view them differently. 

I’ve had experiences where I have been in relationships or “talking stages” with guys who are “physically attractive”, but after only a month or two of getting to know them, I realize that I no longer see them as physically attractive. This is because their personality is simply one that doesn’t fit with mine for one reason or another. 

We all die eventually and the way you once looked becomes meaningless. People will remember you for your kindness, the love you impart on others, the way you impacted those around you, and the mark you leave on this world. 

People don’t fall in love with others because of the way they look, and if they do, it’s a completely one-dimensional relationship that won’t last. People fall in love because they love who somebody is on the inside. They love their brains, their hearts, and how they think. They love the way they laugh and the jokes they tell. They love the things they talk about, and the way their eyes light up when they do. They love people for how they make them feel, not for what they look like.

The way you look is truly the most uninteresting thing about you.