“i just got into my dream college, but my friend didn’t”

9/19/23

Email:

I just got into my dream college after working myself to death for months, unfortunately one of my friends didn’t get into the college she wanted to and now she’s being weird with me, ignoring my messages and making little comments about my college, grades and achievements. It’s made me feel like I don’t deserve what I’ve achieved even though I worked so hard for it. How do I tell her she’s really upset me and that I just want everything to go back to the way it was before?

Our advice:

First off, I want to say congrats!! Getting into your dream university is a HUGE accomplishment and you should be proud of all the hard work it took to get you here. It can be difficult when you have someone in your life who doesn't seem as happy for you as you would be for them. Do not let anyone make your accomplishments feel small or diminish everything you put into them. You earned it and you deserve it. However, it's important to remember this time isn't quite a celebratory one for your friend. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't get into this school. I'm sure your friend is happy for you, but disappointed in herself and is taking it out on you out of insecurity. So, if I were you I would be proud of myself and celebrate but ensure that I am still being cautious of my friend’s feelings. I think you should tell her that this is an extremely emotional time for the both of you (in different ways) and for the sake of your friendship and protecting each other's feelings. maybe it's best not to talk so much about it. That way, you don't need to be made to feel undeserving and she won't feel like she isn't enough. I hope this helps and again, congratulations!!