“i have terrible trust issues”

9/3/23

Email:

So, i have a boyfriend. A great, wonderful good boyfriend. But i also have terrible trust issues and im aware of the fact. Though i’ve been trying to work on it, not much has helped. I get pissed over the little things like him talking to a girl or sitting next to one. I detach and pull away and i hate it, how should i go about it?

Our advice:

I am so sorry about that. It seems like my email draft got sent before I was able to type anything!

What I was going to tell you before my email rudely interrupted me was that I get your situation. I was in a relationship where my partner was super sweet to me, but my trust issues were the worst thing ever. I would get jealous and confront them about my jealous feelings even if they were completely baseless. I'm glad you realize that this awful feeling can only be fixed by yourself for yourself. A lot of people don't realize this and take it out on their partner so I'm very proud of you for coming to that realization.

I would say the best thing for you to do is find activities that help you with your self-image and self-worth. As soon as you can realize that you are beautiful and worth it, you will see why your boyfriend loves you and why you are his girlfriend, not those other girls. The goal is to see and love yourself the way that someone, like your boyfriend, does. I would recommend doing daily affirmations. I have this app on my phone called "I Am" that sends me affirmation messages hourly and it only take a couple seconds to repeat them to yourself. You could also start a gratitude journal and write down 3 things you love about yourself every night. If you're able to do this, you'll slowly start to notice things about yourself and you'll realize that those girls don't matter, it's just you. You and your boyfriend.

Also, if you haven't already, please talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you're feeling. Don't try to make him do anything, just make sure he's aware that you feel insecure a lot and ensure him that it's not his fault because things like this can take a toll on your partner as well. Maybe he can also support you and give you his own affirmations. But I need you to remember that to truly love yourself, it needs to come from you. So I wish you the best of luck, but I promise those methods do work. They take time, but they work. If you want to keep me updated, please do. My Instagram handle is in the email above. <3