“i’m 19 and never been in a relationship”

9/6/23

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I'm 19 and I've never been in a relationship. I've never had any contact with a boy or kissed or held hands or ANYTHING. I feel so behind and pathetic. It doesn't bother me too much but whenever my friends, who have had sex and been in relationships, I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm just not pretty/good enough. No boy has ever approached me or asked me out which doesn't help my self-esteem much. I know I shouldn't feel like I need a mans attention but when every girl I'm surrounded by has been on dates/asked out etc, it really makes me wonder why I haven't had any of that happen to me? I'm very shy and quiet and i struggle with social anxiety. I just need tips on how to talk to men. I get nervous around them and it's a struggle considering all my lab partners are boys this semester. I freeze up and I get embarrassed (my face turns red) since I can't talk to them the way that I do with the girlies. How do I start a conversation? Anything helps <3 !

Our advice:

Don't worry if you feel like you're falling behind in love (like the song by Laufey)! Nothing is wrong with you, there are tons of girls in similar situations and you are not pathetic. 

I have a friend who is drop-dead gorgeous, and everywhere I went, boys would come up to us and ask for her Snapchat. All of my guy friends have had a crush on her at some point, and she is genuinely a great girl to be around. Even though I wanted to hype her up and support her too, I couldn't help but feel insecure about my own looks because I felt like no boys paid attention to me. 

Every girl is beautiful, and the situation you are in is universal. If you're comfortable enough to make a move on boys, try to seem as confident as you can. Fake it until you make it! 

Just know that you are beautiful inside and out and that there is someone in this world who is perfect for you. Please don't do anything you aren't comfortable with because everyone else is doing it.