“should i go for my friend’s ex?”

8/26/23

Email:

I’m 16 going into my junior year of high school and since about 8th grade there’s been this boy, e**, we instantly connected and we’re obsessed with each other for the next year or so, He lost feelings and moved on but my feelings stuck and I haven’t stopped ever since then. We’re in the same friend group and back in March he started talking to my friend c*** and they started dating. A couple of weeks ago they broke up because he cheated on her. I saw that as an opportunity to go for him again, but she’s one of my best friends and I don’t think I could do that to her, but I had him first so would I be the a**hole??

Our Advice:

I totally get where you are coming from.

It’s hard to see a boy you’ve liked since 8th grade date one of your best friends. I get that your feelings for him are strong, but right now you must balance the pros and cons. Try to put yourself in C***’s shoes, it would be hard to go through heartbreak (get cheated on), and then see your good friend go for your ex. If you want to go for E***, at least wait it out before doing so. Make sure your friend is doing okay, and before you do anything with E***, get her approval. If you go straight into it, the drama will stir and be a mess. 

That being said, we also need to think about E**** and his morals/personality. Would you be willing to be with someone who cheated before? Try to look out for yourself — self-care is important, love! Whatever happens, just know that at the end of the day, everything will be all right. 

Thank you so much for your submission, if you need anything or have any updates, I am more than happy to help!