Growing Up as a Teenager With a Disability
I’m currently 19 years old and I have two cochlear implants (which are hearing aids but for people who are profoundly/ completely deaf). I had an operation for both ears, where a magnet is placed inside my head and there is an external piece that can be placed on my ear and it has a coil that also has a magnet to attach to the head on top of the internal piece. Not many people know about these so awareness can be quite hard to spread, especially when I was growing up!
In regards to cochlear implants, they are amazing because they have introduced me to hearing the world around me since I can hear absolutely nothing without them. However, this leads people to believe that I have the same level of hearing as people with the ability to hear. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case, and in my experience, it has caused so many issues and miscommunications of my needs in friendships growing up. I’ve found it difficult to find a balance between wanting to not acknowledge my lack of hearing in order to feel normal / accepted and wanting people to understand the extra needs I may have in order to make my everyday needs possible.
Firstly, I grew up in the UK in a small school, from nursery to year 6 (age 3-11) which meant I had the same 30 classmates who understood my needs, but my struggles really started when I joined secondary school and sixth form (ages 11-18). I was bullied for being deaf, and many of my friends were too immature to understand my needs which I can’t fault due to my young age. However, as I grew older, I continued to constantly move around friendship groups because I felt they didn’t understand me, which made me look like I was a bad person. I’ve definitely made mistakes in my time but I haven’t felt like I’ve been able to explain my choices and how people can help me since my main focus (as a teenage girl) was to fit into the societal standard of how a girl should act and be around friends. I’m currently in my second year of university and I’ve finally found some friends that I feel really understand me and they don’t judge me at all, It may take some time but there are people in the world waiting for you.
I wanted to write this blog to raise awareness towards ANYONE with any kind of learning or physical disability in regard to social settings. For example, my family knows me so well and loves me to bits but even they forget sometimes that I have extra needs. The purpose is this is to give some advice that if you notice anyone with any extra needs be upfront and ask them how they might need any extra help or how they might struggle, with the added pressures of being a teenager or a young adult. In my experience, I’ve loved it when people ask me questions about my disability because it shows they’re interested in being educated about it in general and how they can adapt to my needs! For example, I remember one of my friends just made a simple gesture of moving me into the middle of the 3 friends I was having a group conversation with (as we were walking along a busy and noisy road) because she knew I was struggling to hear/be a part of the conversation! That happened around 7 years ago, and even though we aren’t friends anymore I still treasure that and am so grateful that she thought of me in that way!
I also want to add for anyone who has a learning or physical disability or anyone who needs any extra help with tasks that are a little bit more difficult in life - please don’t be afraid of it! Everyone in this world is so different which is such an amazing and beautiful thing! If people seem like they stare, or if they ask you questions about why you may need extra help, it means they simply don’t understand! There is only one way to make people understand, which is to educate them! It took me a long time to understand that, as I used to be ashamed of my cochlear implants and hide them because people would stare, but now I understand that they may never have encountered one. If people ask me about them, I’m glad to share my experiences and knowledge on them, because it may help another person with a cochlear implant someday as there is one more person in the world who is educated especially in that!
I love every single person reading this, you are so worth it and you really aren’t alone, we’re in this world to build each other up and just live life to the fullest with people that we love because why the fuck not :)
If anybody wants to reach out to me if they’re experiencing something similar, or even if you want a chat, my Instagram is always open :) ( xx.lilyyyy.xx )
- Lily <3
