The Psychology of Self-growth: Why Learning Self-Fulfillment Is Important

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Written by Arisa Lattison

IG: @arisa.lattison

As a girl who’s always been on top of things, I’ve always held myself to the highest of standards. This applied to everything I did, including subjects where I obviously had weaknesses. 

I’ve been on high school cheer for three years now, this year being my second on varsity. Although I’m not the most extroverted person, I pick up material pretty fast and I put in the work where needed, which helped me get to where I am today. I wouldn’t consider myself the best by any means, but I kept up with everyone else. So when I kept getting pulled out of my State Cheerleading competition formation, I was upset and confused. I thought I was doing alright, but even more than that I was thinking I could do better

There’s a psychology term that describes what could have been happening here. The Pygmalion effect occurs when a follower’s performance is dependent on a leader’s expectations of their performance. In other words, being constantly pulled out of the formation ruined my confidence, therefore worsening my progress in general. This effect ties into the self-fulfilling prophecy— the idea that someone’s beliefs in you eventually make those beliefs come true. 

Sometimes we don’t think we’ll do good and that ends up being the case. This is a result of our own self-fulfilling role in the situation. It can be discouraging when it feels like the whole world is against you or you’re used to excelling or maybe, you’re just having a bad day. And that’s okay; it’s human nature. 

I think a lot of us rely on validation as motivation. Your friends hype you up to make a move on your crush, your teammates cheer you on during your event in a sport, and your teachers help you aim for success in their classroom. It’s all based on a reward system that comes with the reassurance that yes, you can do it!

But what if this isn’t the case? What if sometimes, things feel unfair and it’s just hard to push through it without your own cheerleaders?

This is where our good friend self-efficacy comes in. Psychologist Albert Bandura developed this theory that one’s own belief in their capacity to execute is positively correlated with their execution. This means if we believe we can do it, we’re already that much better than if we believe we can’t do it. Having high self-efficacy is to take challenges as something to be mastered, not a reason to admit defeat.

If you’re in a difficult situation and it seems like all hope is lost, DON’T give up! That is the last thing you should do. 

Instead, remember that if you have faith in yourself, everything is more likely to work out. I know this is easier said than done, so if you ever find yourself wanting to quit, know that I have faith in each and every one of you, and you’ll do absolutely great just like I know you will :)

Me? I’ll continue to work on the state routine until they no longer feel the need to take me out. I’ll earn my spot in the formation because I believe that if I put my whole heart and soul into it, the fruits of my effort will be ever so sweet.

Arisa <3