peoples actions usually don’t have anything to do with you

Over the course of this past year, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that there’s always a deeper, hidden and often subconscious reason behind why everyone does anything.

It’s easy for us to take things personally when somebody hurts us directly. We hyperfixate on what WE did wrong, what we could have done differently to change the outcome, etc.

Whenever somebody has said something to make me upset, instead of wondering what I must have done to prompt their negativity, I instead ask myself what factors in THEIR life ellicited that behavior.

This is because peoples actions to you directly usually don’t have anything to do with you at all.

In some cases, this isn’t true. If you make a mistake and people act accordingly, of course this line of reasoning isn’t true.

But there are so many instances in which your close friend has an outburst or gets upset at you for seemingly no reason. Instead of overthinking what you did wrong, you have to understand that people can often act-out because of other external factors in their life that don’t have any correlation to you at all.

I fully realized this when I notcied how much kinder I was to those around me when I became happier with myself.

When I broke-free from old habits and people, and began loving myself and “healing”, I was suddenly so much more aware of how I treated people.

I still lose my temper at those I love sometimes, but when I think about it, it’s almost never because of anything they did.

It’s because of how I feel about myself in that moment.

It’s important to be conscious of this, so that you can be aware if you begin taking your anger out on others. But it’s also important to realize that somebody being “mean” to you says more about their own life and thoughts than it does your actions.

Peoples outward portrayals are truly a relfection of how they feel about themselves.

I notice this so much with the girls at my school who engage in somewhat destructive habits, or aren’t kind to other girls.

It usually has nothing to do with the other people around them, but rather the way they feel internally — like insecurity, for example.

Don’t take things personally <3