living in the present moment
“I’ll be relieved once I get an A on this test.” “I’ll be happy when I get into my dream school, or cut the toxic people out of my life, or get out of my hometown.” “I’ll be content once I get a boyfriend or new friends, or when I finally live on my own.”
The human condition is living in moments that don't yet exist. We are endlessly stuck in our own thoughts, so much so, that sometimes our mental barriers feel as physical as the air we breathe.
I find myself relieving memories or worrying about the future, when all the beauty life bestows is right in front of me. 99.9% of life is the past. The present moment is, quite literally, the blink of an eye. It’s normal to be perpetually worried about the future when nothing is promised, but it’s also difficult to live a fulfilling life this way. If you constantly dictate your happiness on something in the future – a new apartment, the weekend, summer, or seeing your friends – you’re unable to recognize the moments as they come and go.
You’ll come to find that, when you do finally get the job or check the box off your bucket list, a lot of the time we’re a lot less happy than we expected to be. Maybe the happiest moments are the ones we are present for – the ones that are mundane in theory but are like vibrant photos in the stop-motion films of our lives. When I’ve adopted the outlook that each moment is uniquely special, I’ve started to appreciate small things like driving back from school in early September, when gold sunlight still bathes the earth like honey. Despite my excitement for college and new experiences, I still cherish Friday night football games when my voice becomes hoarse at the end and all my friends get slushies to celebrate our school's win. I beat myself down when I don’t get a good test score, swearing I’ll be happy once I do, but that three-second window of relief after seeing “A” in Skyward is not nearly as fulfilling as laughing til my stomach is sore with people I love. I look forward to going to parties with friends while we get ready and blast Tame Impala, Drake, and SZA, but I realize that the most fun parts are the moments of anticipation. The ones where the room is piled with clothes and girls say, “You look so pretty.” or “I love your hair!”
Sometimes, the best moments are the ones we take for granted: the present ones.
