how to move on from people, places and things

Nothing lasts forever, and with this fact comes the invevitability of lost relationships, love and experiences.

1) Change your Perspective

“Getting over” the temporariness of the world around us is necessary, but difficult nonetheless. I truly think that so much of “getting over” something is simply in your perspective.

You can choose to view a person exiting your life as the universe cursing you, or as a disguised blessing. What gives me a sense of peace is imagining that God, the universe (or whatever other “higher power” you believe in) is removing these people from your life for YOUR benefit.

For example, you wouldn’t give your dog a piece of chocolate no matter how hard they beg for the sweet treat. You understand that it’s bad for them and that it’ll only create more complications, harm or pain in the future, regardless of the short-lived pleasure of eating the chocolate.

This is how I imagine various events in my life. Whenever I make a mistake — it’s teaching me something so I don’t make an even bigger mistake in the future. Whenever I feel pain — it is the universe molding me into a stronger, more resillient version of myself. Whenever I lose somebody or something — it’s the universes way of telling me that that person no longer fits into the next phases of my life.

Everything happens for a reason.

2) Don’t attempt to “forget”

So many people try to move on by simply forgetting, or completely erasing that person, thing or place from their memory.

Not only is this extremely hard to do, but it isn’t healthy.

Sit with your feelings, remember the memories and moments, cry, savor the love you had for them or that “thing” — then let them go after you feel EVERY single emotion in regards to the situation wholly.

You can’t possibly move-on when you have lingering resentmnet or feelings towards that emotion. Fully moving on requires doing the inner work, and not completely disregarding the pain.

The pain is necessary in order to get over something, and if you don’t feel it now, you’ll end up feeling it at some point in the future.

Be grateful for what you DID have with that person, place, or thing. We are so lucky to be able to expierence such strong emotions for these aspects of our lives, and letting them go is part of the beauty of it.

3) Spend time bettering YOU

Become so confident and happy with yourself, that everyone else that enters your life simply becomes an accessory to how great it is.

Work on your kindness and how you outwardly portray yourself, so that when people leave you, refuse to grant you the love and care you deserve, etc. — you feel sorry for what they lost out on.

Know that you are an extremely loving person yourself, and radiate energy that YOU want to be around.

Because at the end of the day, you are the only person you’ll spend your entire life with.

4) Find healthy distractions

Distracting yourself doesn’t mean not sitting with the feelings you have. You can find external distractions through a new hobby, new friends, or new experiences while still doing the healing work neccessary.

The truth is, we often feel sad or hurt while moving on because of how prominent of an aspect that person, place or thing was in your life.

It’s natural to need to seek-out a replacement to “fill that void.”

Although I think this can lead to bad habits and mistakes — it can also be something healthy and necessary.

If you lose a person, for example, seek out friends that will be there to give you that love and acceptance you might have lost.

Start working out, start playing guitar, start writing or reading new books. There is so much available to you, so take the opportunties you have and become a more educated, interesting or generally happy version of yourself.

5) Remember that there is no replacement for time

Unfortunately, there isn’t an “easy fix” when it comes to getting over somebody.

It tends to be a long process, especially if that person meant a lot to you.

Time passes, and there will be days or even weeks where you’ll feel completely fine. Then, it’s as though all of your healing has been undone and you’re a mess of un-wound string. It’ll hurt again for a few days, and then you’ll feel better, and then worse again, and that’s okay!

Healing isn’t linear, but time is the best remedy.

It will get better, and eventually, there will come days in which you can look back on that person, place or experience with love and gratitude, without that aching feeling in your chest.