“my best friend got a boyfriend”

8/23/23

Email:

‍Okay, so my best friend recently got a boyfriend and they have been dating for about a month. I’m glad that she has found someone and is happy, it’s just she has been ditching me a lot lately and lying about it. We will make plans together and I get excited, but then she cancels last minute and says stuff liske, “My mom wants me home to do chores” but then I see that they are hanging out together. I always know because she posts stuff on her story of them hanging which I don’t understand why she would do if she lied and said she’s home. I feel that she wants me to see it to make me jealous or something – I don’t know. There are so many more times things like that which have happened and it honestly just makes me sad because she’s one of my only friends. I also just kind of think it’s stupid because they haven’t been together for that long and it’s literally a high school relationship. Also, I know they are going to break up officially soon because they already fight and have taken “breaks” (for like one day), and I don’t know if I should stick by her and comfort her when it happens or just focus on myself and hopefully, she will realize that she was kind of a b*tch to me and regrets how she treated me.

Our Advice:

‍I totally get where you are coming from. I've had experiences of my own that are similar to yours. It hurts, especially when your parents ask if they're coming over, or when you can feel your friendship drifting apart. It's normal to lose time with your friends when they get a significant other, but either way, she shouldn't be lying about it. 

I would communicate to her about how you're feeling. It doesn't have to be a big paragraph, formal type of thing, you can just shoot her a text. A possible example is confronting her about the situation in a nice manner, and asking if you did anything for her to be acting that way. Especially about lying and posting on social media for you to see, Let her know how you feel. You never know, she could be going through something herself. 

If they do eventually break up, it is best for you to stay by her side. If anything, that'll make her realize how mean her actions were by setting an example of a good friend.