I Miss the Boy I Fell in Love With

I miss him.

No, not the boy he is now. But the boy I fell in love with.

I miss the boy I met 6 years ago.

I fell in love with him on August 17th, 2022.

The whole summer before, we were best friends. I never saw him as anything else, even though I knew he had feelings for me. He was my best friend and that was it.

Until he was more than that.

When we got together everyone was happy for us. We were happy with each other. Life was perfect. We celebrated all the holidays together until something changed. Almost as if he didn’t care anymore. We were always fighting. We’d be perfect one day and then the next we wouldn’t talk at all. It was weird.

To this day I still do not understand what happened. Until I saw this picture with my ex-best friend.

He was kissing her.

When I asked him about it, he denied it, even though I had the picture right there.

He told me, “You’re overreacting it’s just a kiss. I don’t want her. You’re being an overprotective girlfriend. Hop off my d*ck and let me live for once, damn.”

Even after that, I still stayed with him. I was talking with his best friend about it because, at the time, we were close and he told me that I deserved better.

Everyone did.

All my friends, my family, even my teachers.

But I didn’t listen.

One day we were in another argument because I was walking with my best friend and her ex, and he hugged me out of nowhere. I pushed him off as soon as he did because I had a boyfriend.

My boyfriend was saying things like, “You’re such a hoe. I would never do that.”

And that was the final straw.

It was 4th period and I told him to meet me in the hallway in 5. We met up at “our spot” and right there is where I ended it.

It stung.

It stung so bad I can’t even explain.

But I knew it needed to happen.

That day marked my first real heartbreak. My chest hurt. I could feel my heart drop every time I saw him. I missed him so much and the worst part was that I knew we could have worked it out. He blames me for everything. He blames me for breaking his heart. Everyone knows I broke his heart but no one knows how it made me feel.

I loved him — I still do love him. He was my first love.

I tell my friends I miss him and I do.

But not the boy he is now.

The boy he is now is one I do not recognize at all.

The boy I miss is the boy I met — the boy I fell in love with.

That is the boy I miss.

Not the selfish player he has become.

I miss my best friend.

- Remi