Dealing With Arguments in a Friend Group

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by Taylor Fox, 10/2/23

Over the past few weeks, there has been some significant drama in my friend group that has caused a rift, and it’s been tough.

I’m very lucky to have quite a big conglomeration of peers in my life, but that comes with its issues, and I’ve had to learn how to deal with it

In May last year, I moved to Spain to work in a bar/restaurant and began making friends with people who worked in other places in the area. I’ve had the time of my life, but no matter where you go or what age you are there will always be quarrels.

In my case, it seemed to be this particular girl (let’s call her N). In our 20-ish group of people we somehow only managed to have a few petty fights over the last 2 years, but as soon as N came onto the scene she caused a lot of disagreements. It was a split between who liked her and who didn’t.

It can be hard to deal with these types of “who believes who” fights. I found it especially difficult as I would rather not add any stress to my life, as most people wouldn’t.

As time passed and my friends moved on, I gained some clarity about the situation.

In my opinion, the best thing to do is remain as neutral as possible. I know, it sounds obvious.

We came to the decision that we all had our own reservations about what happened, and through communication, we understood that arguing wasn’t going to change that. Our larger idea of friendship mattered more to us than whether we liked N or not.

Now when she is brought up, it’s more of an agree to disagree sort of thing. When N comes around we’re civil about it.

If you are adamant about staying friends, which thankfully mine were, coming to an agreement is the key. You have to decide to stay friends despite the little things if you have good people around you.

In your late teens and early 20s, I feel friendships are far more important than any other relationships in your life, and it’s essential to choose people that make you feel good, make you laugh, and don’t add too much tension to your life. There are going to be arguments, but take a step back and look at how people around you affect your outlook and emotions.

Anyway, speak to your pals and tell them how much you love them! - Taylor.