the people you idiolize usually aren’t as happy as you think they are.

We all know that social media is extremely staged, fake and idolizes an aesthetic or lifestyle that in most cases, simply isn’t attainable or “real.”

When I scroll through TikTok or Instagram, I often find myself comparing my life to other peoples. Living in Washington, a state surrounded by clouds and rain, I sometimes find myself dreaming of a living near the ocean. Or the ability to travel to various countries, or be surrounded by a bustling city.

In reality, though, all of the people we see living these various lives struggle and deal with issues of their own. They go through heartbreak, they cry themselves to sleep some nights, they feel like their life is crashing down on them, and they’re helpless — because they’re all human.

Our environment, our circumstances, our fame or success or any other external situation doesn’t dictate our happiness.

You could see somebody on TikTok that is extremely attractive, swimming in the most beautiful blue water with a group of their friends, and not know that secretly, their friends aren’t kind to them, they are extremely insecure or that they are grieving a recent death in their family.

People in general are facades of what they feel and go through. I guarantee you that so many people you see at school, or on social media are secretly dealing with mental health or circumstantial issues of their own.

I think what really allowed me to understand this was when I posted a TikTok of my own in Italy. I was surrounded by beautiful scenery, I was wearing a dress and reading a book. The setting was peaceful and the video itself conveyed happiness and contentment.

The video gained traction, and people were commenting things like “All my problems would be solved if I could be there right now.”

Random people on the internet saw my video and idolized the location and the general “vibe” it gave off, and wished they could be me, in a sense.

What they didn’t know was that, during my trip to Italy, I was dealing with some of the hardest mental health challenges I’ve ever battled.

I had broken up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years only a month before, and it was the first time I was forced to be alone. When I was home, I had my friends to keep me busy, but in a foreign country with a time zone that prohibited almost all contact with those that helped keep me distracted — I was forced to face all of these emotions myself.

The video was taken shortly after I had a panic attack, and I thought it was ironic that so many people were commenting on these things.

This same principle applies to every other social media post or influencer. It puts everything into perspective when you start to realize that a pretty Instagram feed or what you see on the outside doesn’t normally convey what people feel on the inside.

I’m not saying this to give you a grim outlook on life or the people around you — it's so that you know you aren’t alone. Everyone struggles and other people deal with the same sadness or loneliness that you do. Even the people you idolize.