coping with anxiety

We’ve all felt stressed or anxious from time to time, and for the most part, a little bit of this is normal. 

But as somebody that has dealt with general anxiety for the majority of my life, I’ve needed to adopt ways to cope with my feelings and thoughts. 

The first step to controlling these emotions is identifying why you’re feeling the way you are. It sounds pretty simple, but oftentimes, our brains will blow seemingly small situations out of proportion in order to perpetrate this feeling of helplessness on ourselves. 

I’ve noticed that most times I feel anxious, it comes from a place of irrationality, and is usually a worry I have about things that haven't even happened yet. 

When my brain starts to run in overdrive and I lose sense of control, I first slow my breathing and try to utilize introspection. I ask myself what exactly is making me worried, then ask myself if it's a future concern or a present concern. 

It’s usually a future concern – something that hasn’t happened yet – and almost always starts with “What if…”. 

“What if I get rejected from all the schools I applied to?” “What if I fail my test tomorrow?” “What if I don’t get invited to ____?”

When this is the case, I tell myself that I will not take away from the hurt or anxiety I’ll feel later, when that “what if” actually occurs, by being stressed about it in the present moment. 

It’s really all about maintaining a sense of presence. Life is composed only of the moments you’re living in now and anxiety becomes so much easier to manage when you begin fully immersing yourself in each passing moment rather than the future or past. 

If my anxiety stems from something current, or present rather than in the future, I remind myself that there are simply so many external factors in life that aren’t in my control, and worrying about them won’t skew their outcome. 

This mindset is more difficult to master – I definitely have a long way to go myself – but sometimes I’ll draw out in my journal two circles; one labeled “in my control” and one labeled “out of my control.” I’ll then write down my stresses and organize them in these two circles.

Your mindset is honestly all some facet of delusion, and you can choose to make that delusion positive or negative. If you tell yourself that everything in the “out of your control” bubble will sort itself out eventually, your brain will automatically seek out external experiences that validate that thought process.

Having an outlet of creativity or a hobby allows you to get your mind off of whatever you're anxious about and also helps so much.

For me, I love writing books or random stories when I get anxious. It allows me to fully submerge myself in a different reality: one that I have complete control over. 

Finding your version of this can take some time, but try drawing, journaling, learning guitar, or even just talking to a friend. 

It’s important to maintain patience with yourself through this and remember that you aren’t alone :)