“i’m a duff”

12/2/23

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I have two friends. One of them is adventurous, hot, and very feminine—the other one is sporty and outgoing and quirky. They are both so beautiful and if a guy doesn’t like the one of them they like the other. I feel like I’m always the duff. Like I’m never first choice or even chosen at all by guys.

Idk. Advice for self esteem or advice to be hotter and better.

I’m a shy and no I can’t change that and suddenly be outgoing and cool xoxo

Our advice:

I’m sorry you are experiencing this right now. You should know that this is super normal and very common. I promise you, you are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with you. The usual cause for this happening is because of the way your friends present themselves. Maybe they actively look for guys wherever they go, or flirt with guys they meet. If they give off the vibe that they are looking for someone it’s sometimes noticeable to guys because of the way they may act.

I had a very similar experience during my freshman and sophomore year of High school. I always felt like guys couldn’t care less about me and they never looked at me like they looked at my friends. My advice would be, just like you said, don’t change yourself for a guy! Being shy is nothing to be ashamed of and you will 100% find someone who likes you for you. Try to invest time in yourself, find new hobbies that make you feel good. If there is someone that feels similarly to you, talk to them! 

Just remember that the guys your friends are attracting may not be the guys you want to attract. If you want a nice, respectful guy, he may be too shy to talk to you as well. Give it time and I promise you it will come. Keep your eyes open and don’t be afraid to make conversation with someone you think is cute. Even if it’s just a few words!